A Book YOU MUST READ

 

Let me take you on an eye-opening adventure across this vast ocean of knowledge where a lot of knowledge is hidden from us and for some unfortunate reason we haven't really come across these concepts that I think it should be taught from our early ages. These are facts that aren't taught in school or by our parents nor grandparents nor our ancestors..so I personally believe everyone should get their hands on this wonderful creation, this wonderful book





“The Courage to be Disliked” is a very powerful read. It’s one of those books you know will add value to your life every time you read it and apply it to your changed conditions. I personally think reading it once won't be enough. I read it slowly as possible so I can grab the concepts and absorb it all in and I still think I may want to read it again after a few months!



It's not like any of the other books that become boring with time ( not to criticize any other books) but this book always got me coming to it more and more.



I am in love with this book because it doesn't only tells us that whatever happens to us in terms of our doing is just because of the meaning that we associate with it but also that we have the power and we have autonomy in whatever sort of life we will choose and decide to live on. I think that this book empowers the reader and makes them realize that they are all living in a world that is the result of their own thinking, experience, and the meaning they have put in them. I know it sounds superficial to most of the readers but this book is something that talks about simple basics that are acceptance of oneself and then making of oneself in this world. Eventually, you will realize that at the end but it is a must-read if you are not limited to the fixed notions and defiance and are open to acceptance.


This book is beyond incredible. All you need to know is that if you are like me, you are incredibly skeptical of "popular" "self-help" books. I am a student of philosophy, so trying to figure out things like "what is happiness" has occupied so much of my time, that the idea that a truly effective way to live for oneself and be happy can be condensed into such a readable, yet densely packed book, seems impossible.




This book is basically in a format of a conversation between a young man and a philosopher. The philosopher answers the young man's questions with Adlerian psychology. I am listing down few lessons worth understanding from this masterpiece and note that I am mentioning it in brief so you might hopefully find some enthusiasm to read this magnificent life-changing book.

1.All problems are  interpersonal relationship problems

You are so afraid of interpersonal relationships that you came to disliking yourself. It's basically impossible to not get hurt in your relations with other people. When you enter into an interpersonal relationship, it is inevitable that to a greater or lesser extent you will get hurt, and you will hurt someone too. ‘To get rid of one's problems, all one can do is to live in the universe all alone ‘. But one can't do such a thing.

2. Change isn't hard if you are willing to

It's simply that it's scary to take even one step forward; also, that you don't want to make realistic efforts. You don't want to change so much that you'd be willing to sacrifice the pleasures you enjoy now. For instance, the time you spend playing and being engaged in hobbies. In other words, you're not equipped with the courage to change your lifestyle. It's easier with things just as they are now, even if you have some complaints or limitations.

3. Build horizontal relations not vertical

In horizontal relationships, you see others at the same level as yours but in the vertical relationship, you see others at a level up or down. Treat others as your comrade, not an enemy. When you think of others as your enemy, you always have a feeling that I beat that person or I lost to that person. Inferiority and Superiority complex is an extension to that feeling.

4 . Have Courage to be disliked

If there are 10 people in a room. There will always be one person who dislikes you no matter what you do. One person will like you and the rest 7 people will have none of the above feelings. Now it's your decision on which person you want to focus on.

5. Plan for the future but live into the present

Imagine that you are standing on a theatre stage. If the house lights are on, you'll probably be able to see all the way to the back of the hall. But if you're under a bright spotlight, you won't be able to make out even the front row. That's how it is with our lives. It's because we cast a dim light on our entire lives that we can see the past and the future. Or, at least we imagine we can. But if one is shining a bright spotlight on here and now, one can not see the past and future anymore.

Well, I will have the .epub format(ebook) uploaded on the telegram channel so you don't have to buy it! (Absolutely free) Because I want you all to also see a great change in life which is ultimately my goal. You can thank me in the comments down below and I would be happy to hear from you after reading this book so please drop a comment if you finished reading the book.

What more can we take?

Relation to trauma?


According to the book, our need to hold on to trauma is mainly because it either makes us feel like we belong, or it makes us feel significant. This may not seem like it is problematic, but if we dwell on our life stories, they can become a hindrance and an excuse to stagnate. By hanging on to whatever stories are keeping us in small and in place, we are essentially choosing not to change.




When we let the past dictate our future, we are living according to Etiology, the study of the cause of a given phenomenon, i.e. our history.




Key Take Away: Your life is decided in the here and now, and not in your past. At any moment, you have the power to choose your destiny, and it is the actions you take right NOW that matter most, not anything that you did, or was done, to you.




This should come as a welcome message. The circumstances of your upbringing, your present situation all undoubtedly have played a role in your life, but how empowering is it to hear that you have the power to dictate where it goes from here?




Do you talk down to yourself? Calling yourself stupid or saying, “I could never do this/that.” Adler believed these to be excuses that enable us to avoid taking on the life-tasks, and interpersonal problems necessary for us to achieve those goals. The truth is short of physically not being able to make something, everything is attainable. We just choose what to put our energy into and when/where to put ourselves out there.


Feelings of inferiority are perhaps the single biggest reason for people not accomplishing their dreams. I know for a fact that I have let those feelings get in the way of starting things. These subjective assumptions single-handedly have the power to crush your dreams before they even have a chance to settle in your mind. But have you considered why? It’s not that we are afraid to fail, it's that we are scared to be SEEN failing, and that is an interpersonal, social problem.




You are responsible for living your life for yourself. Apply this philosophy to those around you as well. Let people live their own lives according to their personal values. It is essential to lend a helping hand whenever needed but just as vital to recognize when someone’s life task is their own.



You are not the center of the world. Striving to gain recognition only leads to a lack of fulfillment and disruption of “society.” Instead of counting your own points, evaluate how you impact that team as a whole.


You cannot achieve the most refined version of yourself if you are unhappy. You owe it to society to be happy now as that will unleash your most beneficial gifts. The essence of work is the contribution to the greater good.



If you struggle to find meaning in this life, you can find solace in knowing that as long as you are a part of a society, you have value, and you have a mission.


Society emerges between you and me. The highest calling in life is to serve society with your unique gifts. Give meaning to a meaningless life by striving to serve the community. 

Putting it all in perspective

It's a book that I recommend you get and pass it to your children and generations ahead because I believe this is LOST WISDOM. It will help your life immensely helping you to get a perspective of life and most importantly make your life SIMPLE.



Personally, I loved this book and recommend it to anyone. Please read more than a few pages even if you disagree with the philosophy... It’s interesting how people can leave negative reviews without reading the whole book... I think anyone can get something useful out of this book if they keep an open mind! Happy reading