Self Love

 What is Self Love?

SELF-LOVE, a simple thing which we all are aware of is very important for all of us yet we don’t know the answer to how to love ourselves.

Two simple words that make sense only when put together.. Two words that can make a huge difference in our daily lives.. Two words, that are very hard to accept in this fast-changing world.. The world today has taken a drastic change.. It has changed into a world where sensitive topics like weight and physical appearance have started defining people. In the present world today, a person with a well-built body, attractive clothing are considered beautiful or handsome while others are looked down upon.. People have started to judge based off of how a person looks.. This is when “self love” steps in.. In a world like this, where physical appearance is considered above everything, it’s normal for some of us to feel less about ourselves, to feel less confident, to feel like we are not good enough.. Self love comes along with self acceptance. Then you constantly face myths that make you believe beauty comes with perfect body, perfect face, even people that fit the criteria will feel that they are not good enough, which is just a big distortion.

We all know on some state that it is important to love ourselves. 

Why do we really need Self Love ?

When people say that “all you have to do is love yourself, it’s kind of like telling a kid that he or she has to solve a college physics equation. Like that confused child, we have no idea where to begin. We are standing in a place where we don’t love ourselves and haven’t for some time. We simply have no idea where to start and where to go from here.

We live in a world where people are unaware of what it feels like to love themselves.

We all are so busy loving others, working hard, running behind money that we often forget what it is like to take a pause from this busy life, and love ourselves.

As we grow older we seek other’s validation, we try to live up to other’s expectations and we are often so busy in making them happy that we lose our own self.

We end up being sad and lonely. No matter what we try to make others happy we forget that end of the day what matters is what makes us happy.

No matter how much we love others, in the end, we need to have self-love. Even I was the same person before I was unaware of what ‘self-love’ is.

“You have to love yourself because no amount of love from others is sufficient to fill the yearning that your soul requires from you” Dadansky.

For me, self love is an internal meter of how you feel about yourself - body, mind, and soul.

If your self love is low then it is impossible to love another. You will be looking for other ways to fill up the self love void. If your self love is high then you can be unconditionally loving to all beings.

Self love is an acceptance of our divinity and that WE ARE LOVE. 

The more conscious we become about our experiences in these densities, the more we can open up to the fact that WE ARE LOVE experiencing itself. The less conscious we are, the more dense experiences we are going to have. For example war, homelessness, obesity, rape, abuse all comes from staying within these more dense vibrations.

This is a choice for all of us.

We can either keep feeding ourselves with things OUTSIDE our self to try and fill the void inside or we can WAKE UP and find all that we need is within.

When all other people hate the person who you are that is the perfect time when you fall in love with yourself. At one point of life when you are going through toughest situation of your life and when no one stands by your side then you will try to understand what is self love .I call this a transitional phase!

How can I start Loving Myself?

This is a question we all have trouble with. I've personally asked this myself too. Lets' be honest , I couldn't answer this . It looked so complicated that I didn't know where to start and all of us know that first steps are hard!

Love comes in all forms and Self love is the most purest and the hardest of them all but once you know how to , I assure you that you that you just unlocked the key to your happiness.

Well to put it simply loving yourself can be taking yourself a walk in the path , taking yourself out on a a date , going to a coffee shop and having a coffee by yourself and enjoying the nature , feeling the wind strike your face , feeling the grass under your feet , feeling the sunshine in  your face , watching the stars at night , dancing crazily with music turned on , watching your favorite music band perform, reading a book and getting lost in your own imagination.

It can be literally anything , the thing in common with everything I listed here are the little things. Yes you are right , little things play a major role in our lives 

 

Once you start noticing these little things in your life they start playing a prominent part in our lives.

To dive deeper it is also ,

• Allowing yourself to make mistakes without questioning your worth . Because mistakes make you human .

• Allowing yourself to feel your emotions , to cry your heart out , to feel anxious , to be happy , to loose your emotional weight .

• Not taking criticism personally.

• Knowing and accepting your insecurities , flaws .

• Staying in present instead of worrying about past or future .

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• Having an optimistic approach towards life.

• Being able to say no without hurting the other.

• Maintaining in your inner peace.

• Avoiding toxic relationships.

Sometimes self love is not feeling sorry for the people who love you, sometimes it's not feeling sorry for yourself. Sometimes self love is wearing your strengths like a crown, sometimes it's wearing your weaknesses like tattoos instead of scars. Sometimes self love is not being mad at yourself for making a mess, sometimes it's cleaning it. Sometimes self love is planning a future, sometimes it's just believing you have one. Sometimes self love is learning something new, sometimes it's unlearning something old. Sometimes self love is fighting with yourself, sometimes it's fighting for yourself. Sometimes self love is helping yourself, sometimes it's not being afraid to ask for help. Sometimes self love is being proud of the cuts on your thighs, sometimes it's not feeling sorry for the person who will kiss them. Sometimes self love is forgiving yourself for loving the wrong people, sometimes it's making sure you love the right ones right. Sometimes self love is eliminating all negatives from your life, sometimes it's checking if you're one of them. Sometimes self love is a journey, sometimes it's a destination. . Sometimes self love is discovery, but every time, self love is recovery.

Self acceptance is key

Whatever you are, wherever you are there is reason for that. So never blame yourself that you are not doing good or you are not able to do that. Believe yourself whatever happen there is reason for that. Whatever happens, that it  is good for you. Accept yourself, respect yourself. Accept that you are good, your life is good. Thank God that you have been given a good life, it depends on you how you treat your life. When you  start to accept your life, everything goes  good. If you don't accept your life things will go bad. Your life was good, is good and further it will be good. . Don't give pressure in your life , let it go. Be thank full what you have. The gratitude and acceptance will give you everything whatever you want from life. Wake up daily and say yourself that I accept my life. My life is good. You can make your each day celebration by your thoughts and acceptance of life. You will start to feel good. 



 Slowly this self judgement can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. When you say bad things about you to yourself, the effect of it is far worse than when someone else says bad things about you. If you don't practice self acceptance, you don't identify with your true self. You live this life pretending to be someone else.

Below are few suggestions that you can try to get rid of self-judgement and practice self-acceptance

1.) It is very much needed to be honest and kind to yourself.

You might not feel comfortable in telling the truth about you to the world but always tell the truth to yourself. By doing that you'll explore the real self. Once you know each and every bit of self, it's time to treat yourself kindly for all your flaws. Just like you pamper a little child.

2.) Think highly of yourself despite knowing your flaws.(not being egoistic)

Even the best minds and the most successful people in this world have flaws. Start working on your imperfections and grow gradually. Even if you can't see the progress still admire yourself because you're trying.

Give effort, train hard but accept what you are at this very moment and feel contented about it.

3.) Self worth and happiness should be the first thing that
should matter in your life.

You can never achieve your highest potential if you feel worthless and unhappy. So if you want to be the best version of yourself, you should have high self regard and you should be the happiest person in the world. This should be your greater priority and all other things should fall after that. Then only you can present the best version of yourself to this world.

4.) You just can't be strong without making peace with your flaws

People with bad habits or addictions often use denial as a defense mechanism. They just can't accept that what they do is wrong. And if you don't accept, how do you think you'll ever try to change it?

If you're addicted to anything like social media,  your smart phone or you are highly affected by procrastination, you should first accept that you are addicted. Realize that you don't have complete control over your mind or action. Make an agreement with it. It's completely perfect not to be perfect. There should be continuing effort to overcome this and become a better and stronger version of yourself. But if you don't make peace with your flaws, there's no space for growth.

If you're good at self acceptance, nobody in this world can make you feel bad about being what you are. Because you already know it and you feel proud about it.

Ask yourself- “Do I love and accept every bit of me?” If the answer is yes, you can be unstoppable. 

I’m sure all of you’ve heard of the world’s biggest boyband BTS. In 2018, at the UNICEF General Assembly, the leader, Kim Namjoon , said , “No matter what your skin color, Gender identity, just speak yourself..” , this is a perfect example for self acceptance..

Speaking yourself, simply put, raising a voice for yourself, understanding yourself, being confident with who you are, loving yourself, all this comes with self acceptance.. True, in a world where emotions no longer are respected, accepting yourself, your voice, can be an immense battle, but for you to find happiness and peace within yourself, this is where you should start.

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Even if you are filled with all of the world’s riches, you wouldn’t find inner peace if you can’t love and accept yourself

Let’s be honest, appearance is temporary. No one stays beautiful.. People age, people get sick, people never look the same.. They age every passing moment.. But emotions, they make you.. They define who you are, from the inside.. And, to be honest, that’s what matters..

I would like to say what you are on the outside isn't what you really are , it's what you are within that makes 

you, You. 

The Love myself campaign

“Our LOVE MYSELF campaign is all about encouraging every young person to find the love from within themselves and spreading that love to others,” said BTS. “We want everyone to take part in ending violence by sharing love and kindness.”

BTS collaborated with UNICEF to spread love and make the world a better place.

What if I don't like how I look?

We live in a visual world where everything is beauty, but self-love is more about accepting yourself the way you are and believing that you are God’s unique creation.

You may not feel like you are the important person in the lives of others, but you are always number one to yourself.

love yourself with all your heart



The reason you are feeling low about yourself is because you are thinking so high about others. No one is greater or lower to you. All humans are equal.  I want you to understand what difference does it make? Yes, you might be not look good. You might lack self confidence. So what it has to do anything with life?

Do not think of what you lost. Think about what you have. Be a good son to your parents, good friend to your friends, good brother to your siblings, good partner to your life partner. You don’t have to be best in everything you do. Few are gifted with good looks and good mental health. That should not stop you buddy. Being a zero is not the end. It just means there are possibilities of adding as many numbers as you like.

 

You should change your view of self-love into one of self-acceptance. Not to feel high about who you are, but to be just okay with it.

There is hope. There is always hope. You first have to look at yourself objectively and label what you are without thinking about how it’s bad or good, or whether you should be something else or like someone else. Be entirely comfortable with yourself because you want to be what you are and not something else . Be you.  If you blame yourself for things that you could’ve fixed, make a mental note of what you could’ve done differently. If you really look deep and see that you couldn’t have done anything to fix it, accept that. Accept the failure, accept the flaw. Be it

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I honestly used to ask myself the same question. I realized that no matter how “ugly” I feel, that I am beautiful. We all are beautiful in our own different ways. Find something that makes you happy, a flower, a book, a song, a picture. Social anxiety is rough, but you have to slowly realize that not everyone is watching and waiting for you to fail. If it’s not your fault, do not blame it on yourself. You can’t help what other people do, so don’t try to be sorry for their actions. you have to slowly bring things that make you happy into your life. If you like to read and don’t like people, then read as much as your heart desires and don’t talk to people. Do the things that make you happy and don’t strive to please others. Strive to please yourself, it’ll get better.

What you have to remember

• You did not come here to prove the person you are , instead you came here to play & love & laugh & learn & express & rise.

• Don’t compare yourself with others if you really want to compare yourself then compare the person whom you were yesterday and who you are today.

• You are neither your past nor your future. You are the person who is enjoying present movement

"You never bath the same river two times because it is not the same river and you are not the same person whom you were "

• Self love is loving the person who you are and then only you will fall in love with the other gender.

• Give maximum time to yourself , let that loneliness cover you and eventually you will find your soulmate within yourself.

• Self love is being honest to yourself, stop giving excuses and be honest with yourself and you will realize the person whom you are hiding. You deserve your own compassion.

Belief in yourself is so precious respect yourself also utilize your talent supported by your values believe in your sense of self worth.

Your self talk matters because you are listening to it and it has impact the way you see yourself and what you believe you are capable off.

Self love is adopting the behavior of the successful person you are.

Quote source: Google.

Hey you! Did you know that you’re very special? There is no other person in this world like you. You deserve to be loved not only by those around you but by the most important person in your life — YOU. Practicing self love can be challenging for many of us, especially in times when we face serious challenges. It’s not about being self-absorbed or narcissistic, it’s about getting in touch with ourselves, our well-being and our happiness. We practice self-love so we can push through our limiting beliefs and live a life that truly shines.

So dear friend go ahead, be you and go do you because I LOVE you.

Did you learn a few new thing or two? How do you practice self love ? Share your thoughts in comments please.